Almost a year ago on Christmas day 2015, I had my last drink. I remember it clearly, it was a 1/4 cup of Pinot Noir (what was my favorite for years) on Christmas night to pair with dinner. I didn’t feel right drinking it, but did anyways because it was what I was used to.
Here is my back story:
I was diagnosed with a histamine intolerance 2 years ago in November of 2014 right before Thanksgiving, and in order to get the symptoms under control (hives, heart palpitations, dizziness to name a few, for more info on histamine intolerance click here http://thelowhistaminechef.com/histamine-intolerance-symptoms/ , my ND at the time advised me to go on a low histamine diet. One of the BIGGEST culprits of histamines was my beloved red wine. I was feeling so bad at the time, I was prepared to try anything to feel better, so with out further hesitation, I gave myself a week to do it and prepare myself and off I went. To my surprise, I felt better, although not completely as we didn’t know at the time, were living with a massive gas leak that left the kids and I pretty sick. I had set out on my journey of 2 months without a lot of stuff, alcohol was the biggest one (you see, I liked my wine, a lot).
There was a lot of stuff that happened in those 2 months, I mean, a lot! We were evicted from a home for not wanting to purchase it (it had more issues than a gas leak), and it was a painful experience to go through. We had to find a new home, go through the home purchasing process that was not easy (the drama in buying our first home is a lesson and a story on its own). And each time we went through something, and I wanted to grab a drink, I couldn’t, because I was dedicated to my low histamine diet. So what happened? I didn’t die, obviously I am here to share my story lol! However, the rush of adrenaline, and the release as my body was able to process the cortisol properly, and the hormones and emotions that come along with not numbing ourselves with a substance is crazy! I felt like I could concur the world after all of it! I slowly began to notice that life really wasn’t so bad in the real, that all of my emotions that arise, are all OK to deal with. Then it came time to end my low histamine diet, hallelujah! Or so I thought.
I had a few weeks where I was able to drink again and each time I did, I felt terrible. My body had gotten used to being clean, my liver was happy with not having to process 2-3 glasses of wine 3-4-5 days a week (ya, that was normal for me). I would not feel good for not just a day, but for 2 or 3, and it wasn’t a hang over, as it was so much of an energy depletion. I realized that I really did rely on alcohol more than I thought. It was an uncomfortable feeling for me, but one that I needed to face. I come from a family who is very familiar with AA, I grew up going to meetings with family, maybe the stories of those who spoke stuck with me sub-consciously, who knows. But I knew that I had it in me, to walk over the edge and fall into substance abuse, and I didn’t want to. It took me walking away from alcohol to notice it. I didn’t see what I was doing while I was in it.
Here’s what happened to me when I decided to quit:
-People said to me “Wow, thats too bad” (for who? Me? Or them for their feeling of loss?)
-Invitations to join people out slowed down
-I was able to sleep
-I woke up feeling good EVERYDAY!
-I was judged for my choices
-My body felt good
-My emotions stabilized
-My sex life became better than I could remember
-My life began to take off into a very awake and aware state
-I stopped giving in to the drama that surrounded alcohol (wish I could have escaped the drama being dealt to me, but at least I stayed strong in love when faced with it)
-Lots of good things! And I discovered oils! So my wine budget was able to be replaced, no loss there, and my new found health was supported in ways wine never could.
What was my kicker? What was it on Christmas Day in 2015 that made me finally wake up and decide to stop? My nephew saw me drinking my 1/4 of a cup of wine, (we had had conversations about alcohol before and I told him I was done drinking), and the look on his face of sadness and then the words out of his mouth “I thought you said you were done with alcohol”, and my response to numb my decision was “Well I figured on special occasions it would be ok”, but in my gut I knew I was lying, so did he. I dumped out my glass, and told him I was done. And now, 12 months later, I still hold this truth. I am done, I feel good and want to be a role model to those who need to see that life is still FUN with out alcohol! Is it messy? Does it FEEL yucky? Ya, maybe it does from time to time, but I can recover from it. My endorphins can recover my body, my fight or flight doesn't get drowned out from me hiding it with A-Z Pinot. And I can look at my nephew and say “I’m sober” and know the value that that may hold for him, and more importantly, for me. I value this body I was given to take care of, I value the role I play in my children’s lives, I value that they will copy what they see. They’ll know Mom for throwing back shots of Ningxia (a SUPER healthy drink, high on the ORAC scale and contains zero alcohol) but that's it.
So as I sit here and look back on what I have learned and how much I have grown from walking away from alcohol, the only downside is, why didn’t I do it sooner? We all have a filter, we know what makes us feel good and what doesn’t. I’m no stranger from having to walk away from things or people in my life, it doesn’t get easier, it just becomes less painful. My energy filter gets clogged easily, I am a sensitive soul and I embrace that, I just have one less thing that will block me from the Divine, from my higher self and from my life’s path. Lord knows there are plenty of people who would like to take down the dreams of others, why would I want to be the one who did it to myself? I am here, I am present, I am sober. A journey that has lead to me to be the greatest part of me yet. Messy, painful, joyful, loving and kind.
Mary O'Meara - Follow through a guided journey of inspiration, deep yet enlightening conversations. Many of which are infused into each yoga practice. This is just a little piece of me to say Thank You! Thank you for stopping by, thank you for digging around, and thank you for being my inspiration. Always remember where there is health there is hope.
Josh O'Meara - Follow along as I share my ups and downs to a healthier self. I love to share my thoughts through words, and I hope they can resonate with you. Thank you for taking the time, and feel free to comment share and enjoy!